Halloween Spooktacular: Spiders and Ants


Antique pumpkin equals old and scary.

Antique pumpkin equals old and scary.

Initial notes for this post had me jotting down words like “spiders” and “ants.” Is that Halloween enough for the Portland Orbit? Probably not, unless they are giant, made of papier-mâché and set up in someone’s yard or radioactive. I can’t resist a forum for sounding off about insects, though. They have invaded our home. The spiders claim their territory in the backyard. Things were heading over the top when we saw a bird we could have sworn was going to get caught in a web on the roof of the garage. The bird didn’t snack on the spider and vice versa but the drama that unfolded for a minute and imagining what was going to happen became a fascinating live action nature show.

Less scary when they cuddle plants.

Less scary when they cuddle plants

All who wander aren't lost. Get lost!

All who wander aren’t lost. Get lost!

Ants are another story. My future comedy routine will feature material on ants but now all I can say is that they’re freeloading morons. I mean ants, really? You want to crawl around our bathroom sink and eat toothpaste? Ant flavored toothpaste is never going to be a thing.

But is Halloween really about insects? Ghosts and goblins are fine but ultimately I’m not in the mood. My pre-Halloween horrors include soggy socks and a long bus ride with a dripping nose and no Kleenex. Make a haunted house scenario about that!

Porch Attack

When porches attack.

When porches attack

Neighbors never fail year after year. This home has created something completely different from the year before. Would I have concerns about being eaten by a porch? This display has me considering that possibility.

Web Central

Web screen.

Web screen induces screams.

Scary scene, indeed.

Scary scene, indeed.

I don’t suffer from arachnophobia but walking through webs is an icky sensation followed closely by the thought of a spider heading for my face after I’ve invaded her turf. Cobwebs are a staple of Halloween decorating. Web walls conjure up thoughts of a thousand spiders. Throw in a skeleton and I’m keeping my distance.

Hot Corner

Zoombie crossing.

Zombie Crossing

Who benefits when next door neighbors throw it down with over the top Halloween decorations? The kids who have to brave these strange scenarios to get treats and onlooking neighbors, that’s who.

Probably not getting married.

Probably not getting married.

Ther are some zombies on one porch and a Beetlejuice looking Gent hanging with a woman holding her own head on the next. It has potential for at least a few scares this Halloween.

The Eyes Have It

Eyes see me.

Eyes see.

The thought of eyes staring out at passersby is certainly creepy, but when the eyes are Cookie Monster in nature they appear more comical than frightening.

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

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