Top This! Antenna Toppers Invade Portland


Antenna Toppers aren’t confined to Portland. They have the potential to top any antenna. Technology has made antennas much smaller. The newfangled shark fin antenna couldn’t handle a topper which would disrupt its aerodynamics and sleek appearance. It’s possible antenna toppers will become a thing of the past which makes our enjoyment of them all the more poignant.

It’s rare to see an antenna topper shiny and new. They get ravaged by the elements as soon as they are exposed. The short life span that comes with this rapid rate of decay makes them precious. Antenna decor falls into several basic categories: corporate logos, team mascots and helmets, unidentifiable animal characters and the occasional unknown. Allow me to present to you, in living color, a gaggle of antenna toppers spotted in Portland.

Keep Smiling

If anybody should be a topper it’s the ubiquitous smiley face that has no problem getting 3 dimensional since he’s always been so round. Even as the antenna impales his circular frame he keeps smiling. Maybe there’s a lesson here about smiling through impalement.

A Tale of Two Princesses

A princess topper starts off fresh and new dressed in her finest until exposure to the outdoors, wind and rain batters her pink felt, saddens her ears, and tarnishes her golden crown.

Logo the World

Why should 76 company not have an antenna topper that represents their gas stations? Most 76 signs resemble giant antenna toppers as it is.

Alien Mouseketeer

This one is a mystery. Not much of a face with giant eyes and a Venusian completion. But what’s up with the mouse ears? Aliens can’t get enough Disney? There’s not much of a reason to care other than to enjoy life on top regardless of the headgear you choose to sport.

Bug Me

Legless lady bug, some kind of bee, it hardly matters because it’s evident this topper is a free riding insect of some species and an awful happy one at that, as the giant smile can attest.

Top Cup

Looking styrofoam in nature, this topper is a reminder that I could use a cup of coffee. That’s the story of my life. I don’t recognize the brand but in a weird way cows might be as good as any other animal to serve as spokespeople for a coffee company.

Gaucho’s Revenge

It’s Zorro-like, this topper, but it could be anything you want if your imagination works. My first thought was a gaucho, one of those Argentinian cowboys, but his beat up face lacks a mustache or any other characteristics that would offer a clue.

Rubber Ducker

You can never not have fun with a rubber duck so finding one on top of an antenna seems like the right place. If you spot this thing in traffic, which is difficult if traffic is moving, it will bring great joy to your world or at the very least someone’s antenna.

Rabbit Habit


This topper has suffered an elemental beat down so hard it’s unrecognizable. My first thought was the outline of an Easter bunny. I had another look and saw the state of Idaho. At this point I’m unwilling to take a third look.

Jack on the Antenna

A Jack in the Box logo wearing a tiny hat is a fitting way to end this post.

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